Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
