What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
