oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
