CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
