Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
