I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
