I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
