so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
