it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
