So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
