Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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