you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
