I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
