Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You took a bar mat shot.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
