just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize