remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize