I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
