DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
