Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize