I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I could make wine with my vomit
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
