Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
