I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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