i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
