We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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