I'm so fucking centered right now
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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