did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
