I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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