i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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