**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
