I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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