and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I've blown a few things in my day
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
