living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
