My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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