Little spoons don't ask big questions
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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