I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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