Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
