Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
