NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
