come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
