You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize