Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
