i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize