dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
The air taste purple.
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