Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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