I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
