i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
