forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
