i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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