so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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