Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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