Nicole vs. Life
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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