No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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