I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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