did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
