how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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