the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize