No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
