We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
