if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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