She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize