you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
